The Resilient Leadership model has incorporated the notion of a relationship triangle from Bowen Theory and sees it as key to helping leaders think systems as they seek to understand the functioning of their organizations. Every two-person relationship system is inherently unstable because of the anxiety that is generated as each person works to manage the self-other balance, both within self and with his or her partner. When anxiety increases in a relationship, the “natural” reaction is to seek relief from the intensity of the relationship by focusing on a third person. Thus is born the triangle, what Bowen calls the "basic molecule" of an emotional system.

This process of triangle formation is a universal phenomenon and should not be regarded as a sign of pathology or dysfunction. Triangles exist as nature’s way to manage anxiety by sharing or dispersing it more widely. Once formed, relationship triangles are remarkably sturdy and persistent over time. They are also extremely dynamic, constantly shifting the balance of self-other forces among the three parties, with two parties coming together as “insiders” and the third party feeling the effects of being an “outsider.” It is worth noting that in highly conflictual situations, the outsider position in a triangle may be the preferred position. At other times, however, the outsider is usually striving to gain more comfort by moving closer to one of the others in order to become an insider. This is the “dance of life” that keeps relationship systems energized. It is a dance that generally operates beneath conscious awareness, yet leaders can learn how to observe its subtle movements to great advantage