When a well-differentiated person chooses to “lead with conviction,” others, especially those lower on the scale of differentiation, often misunderstand and unconscously (or even deliberately!) attempt to sabotage the leader's efforts. The leader's firm resolve and single-minded tenacity can appear to be foolhardy or ruthless to those who are less differentiated. Particularly in a risk-adverse society such as ours, the bold, adventurous spirit of highly differentiated leaders is often misunderstood. Nonetheless, such leaders are not afraid to expose their ideas to ridicule or critique by others. They know they are fallible, but they still have the courage of their convictions and are willing to take risks for what they believe is the right course of action.

In order to remain steadfast in the face of others’ misunderstanding and resistance, resilient leaders must have the capacity to step outside of the reactive emotional climate that surrounds them and to keep the big picture in view. Leaders almost always have times when they must stand alone on an issue. The well-differentiated leader knows when that is necessary and does not flinch from the pain or solitude involved.

The forms that reactive sabotage take are almost always camouflaged, and they can be very subtle: forgetfulness, careless mistakes, accidents, new alliances being formed to produce alternative options, and so forth. Quite often these forms of resistance will appear on the surface unrelated to their true source, but they are classic examples of automatic functioning. Nonetheless, leaders trained to watch for emotional process can anticipate and be prepared for the inevitable pushback that their leadership generates.

By holding to a steady course in as calm a way as possible, a leader will eventually lead others beyond their reactivity, at least to some degree. By watching the process as suggested above, the leader is far less likely to get hooked by the content of the resistance. Keeping focused on the hidden chemistry—the emotional process—that is surfacing as reactive sabotage, a leader is less likely to fall into the trap of thinking that the “issue” being raised is really “the” issue. What matters most is how the leader manages his or her own functioning: i.e., by leading with conviction, with resolute persistence, calmness in the midst of the “crises” meant to derail change efforts, and clarity of vision.